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| Release Date: | June 28, 2006 (US), July 14, 2006 (UK) |
| Runtime: | 154 min |
| Rated: | PG-13 |
| Genres: | Action, Adventure, Fantasy, Sci-Fi |
| Directed by: | Bryan Singer |
| Written by: | Michael Dougherty, Dan Harris |
| Starring: | Brandon Routh, Kate Bosworth, Kevin Spacey, James Marsden, Parker Posey, Frank Langella, Sam Huntington, Marlon Brando, Kal Penn |
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 There are a lot of people who would claim that Bryan Singer’s Superman Returns is the best thing since sliced bread this summer. Let me be the first person to debunk that rumor. I went into Superman Returns with huge expectations. The marketing for this movie has been colossal. My love of everything Bryan Singer has done thus far had me feeling safe about anything he would ever do. Yet, after I stumbled out of the theater the other night I started to wonder what the hell did I just watch?
Superman Returns is the almost exactly same movie as Richard Donnor’s 1978 original. Singer echoed so much from it, as well as just plain stole some things; it could’ve almost been just a remake. It has its pros and cons though. Some of the nostalgic aspects like the John Williams original score and some lines borrowed from the original are pretty cool for anyone that remembers them. Not to mention how awesome it was seeing a total newcomer like Brandon Routh almost identically replace Christopher Reeves as the man of steel; I mean the guy has almost the same damn voice! However, a lot of the movie hurt from the same old clichés from the dated Superman series. You know what I’m talking about: the extinguishing a flaming house with his super-breath or the idea of him just changing from his secret identity in public without anyone taking notice. I can even forgive them for that, because that’s part of what makes Superman fun.
This movie hurts mainly because in an era of comic book superhero movies like Spiderman, Batman Begins and X-Men we are kept busy not only with the storyline but also the intense fight sequences. Superman Returns has no real fighting. Superman not once throws a punch nor a kick. He just does the same thing over and over in the movie: catch things that are falling. What you may not realize is that in the original Superman movie, Superman never fought anyone either. He didn’t battle any villains till the sequel. But that was ok because the Donnor film was full of amazing things never captured on film before, like Superman flying through air or him catching a helicopter one handed. That was incredible cinema back then. Now, it made me salivating for something to happen. It was like flipping through a Superman comic book and the story end up being about how Superman helped Jimmy Olsen get his groove back. I don’t want to read that, it’s fucking boring.
Nowadays we’ve seen just about anything and everything ever dreamt up with the use of CGI. Superman has plenty of CGI, but none of it was dynamic enough to take your breath away. I got more of a feel from the CGI in Smallville then I did in this. I know Singer was a huge geek of the original but he needed to step outside the box on this one and keep up with today’s bloodthirsty audience.
Another big mistake to the film was that Superman himself felt like he was a supporting character in the story. I mean he’s in it a lot but this movie was about Lois Lane. There’s no getting around it. A friend that went with me said they should’ve named this film Lois and Clark: the Movie. I came to see Superman, not the huge epic love triangle surrounding Lois Lane. Who gives a shit? I won’t give away the worst twist ending about the film but let me tell the fan boys out there that it ruins a pretty funny Kevin Smith joke.
And don’t go out thinking you’ll have every answer solved. The movie centers on the idea that Superman went to the ruins of Krypton for five years then for some reason crash lands again at his farm in Smallville. No other explanation aside from that Kal-El just wanted to go check out his home planet and it wasn’t there. No explanation of how he got there and why he came back in another rocket ship? It’s anyone’s guess. There are a lot more unsolved mysteries riddled throughout the movie.
This is all hard for me to say because you can ask anyone really close to me and they will tell you how big of a Superman fan I am. So, let me jump onto what was really good about the movie. This film had such high highs and low lows that it made me feel sick throughout the two and a half hours. I loved Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor but I thought the whole evil plot behind the movie was super boring. In fact, it was almost the same plot from the original movie! Yawn. Since Spacey played such a more intelligent Lex with a brooding evilness to him, you’d expect that he would have a more sinister agenda. None the less, Spacey and Routh along with the majority of the cast kicked major ass in this movie. They played their parts to a T.
One major thing they get right with Superman Returns is the amazing visuals. The movie is a kaleidoscope of scenic views, breathtaking landscapes, and adventurous perspectives. I wouldn’t ask for anything more when it comes to someone flying throughout the world. Some of the CGI scenes were a bit plastic looking when you looked close but all is forgiven. Oh wait! What’s that?!? Oh it’s another romantic triangle coming to destroy all and bore me half to death. We get it; he has the hots for Lois and vice versa. Blah blah blah. Singer, take a hint from Sam Raimi on how to film superhero love scenes. These scenes were dreadfully boring, not to mention a total rip-off from the first Superman.
All in all, I can’t say I hated the movie and I for sure wasn’t satisfied. It had the great epic feel to it but the story needed a lot of work. Maybe Singer will continue his quest of copying Donnor and make a sequel that actually has some action in it aside from Superman just flying around catching shit falling out of the air? The character has the most incredible potential in the world and you are going to limit him to the same garbage we’ve seen a million times before. Not a good idea. I’m waiting for retribution Singer. You owe me. |
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